Getting the Family-Church Connection Right

“Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God’s unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church...the marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people...parents are to demonstrate to their children God’s pattern for marriage” (Baptist Faith & Message 2000, art. 18).

These statements from our confession come out of the apostle’s revelation in Ephesians 5:22-6:4. What’s not usually noted is the preceding foundation for these commands: “...be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ” (5:18-21). A Spirit-filled corporate life - a congregational-Church self-identity - is the foundation for the family’s life, which pours out of this group relationship/interaction with the holy Trinity. We should not expect generational blessings before God apart from a rich imbibing of the covenantal commitment to the local church as the foundation for the family. I value, respect, and continue to learn much from family-faith ministries like that of Voddie Baucham, but I believe they have the model upside-down. They start with the family as a faith-unity and proceed to the Church because this was the chronological progression in the Old Testament. However, I believe Paul teaches something quite opposite in Ephesians 5. Being Spirit-filled leads to Church life (which transcends biological or familial bonds – see Matthew 10:37; 12:50; 19:29) which then expresses itself through the marriage/family relationships.

Be the Spirit-filled Church of Jesus Christ to the glory of the Father, and then live that out in the home. The faith-community of the Trinity should be our “North Star” for how all other relationships are understood (not our self-esteem, felt needs, desires, priorities, cultural standards, etc.).

This, of course, means that we are all Bible students, seeking deeply how Christ loves the Church and how the Church is to submit to Christ. This means we are thankful in all things to the Father. This means that we teach one another the truth in our Spirit-filled worship. This means that we submit to one another in the fear of Christ. This means that we seek to live together as the Church biblically. We have no right to expect blessed family life apart from making a priority of this Kingdom foundation.

- Pastor Michael